AMAZING NEW

PAZZOOM RADIO HAT

AMAZING NEW TECHNOLOGY!

TERRIFIC DESIGN!

AWESOME POWER!

BOOM YOUR BRAIN NOW!

Be the first in your town to own the terrific power of the

AMAZING NEW PAZZOOM RADIO HAT!

More powerful than a satellite dish! More Amazing than the actions of congress! More astounding than modern television!

With the amazing power of the PAZZOOM RADIO HAT you can wipe out all brain waves in seconds! And not just your own! Astonish your family and friends when everyone within a 4-mile radius goes mentally numb and totally deaf! No one can hear themselves think! No one can even think enough to tell you to turn it down! You'll be the KING of the Numbrains! And you won't even have to dial a radio station!

Be the envy of everyone in your city when you're the first to try out this amazing and powerful new technology! Win the hearts of beautiful girls with this new "electro-magnetic" charm! You might even get promoted! No one can say no when you turn on the powerful and amazing PAZZOOM RADIO HAT!

You don't even have to like music! Just crank up the volume and no one can hear anything for 4 miles!

To get your new PAZZOOM RADIO HAT, simply send 12 equal payments of only $99.99 each to

PAZZOOM RADIO HAT

BOX 56

BILLINGS, MT 59103

(REMEMBER: Do not send cash, check or Money Order. Do not send credit card numbers or any other form of legal currency. Do not send stocks or bonds. Do not send I.O.U. note, Promissory Note, or any other financial agreement or information. Do not send personal information. Do not seal the envelope. Don't place postage stamp on envelope. Do not mail the envelope.)

Not sold in stores! Not licensed by the FCC, the FAA, the CIA or the FBI. Not approved by Congress. Not real, and not even very funny. Be sure to check with local laws for taxation, restrictions and prohibitions. Do not use if any physical symptoms develop in your cat or dog. Consult with your doctor if you actually believe he or she can help you. To file a complaint, see the Yellow Pages under "Idgit Devices."

Do not abandon this equipment while it is operating. Do not use near power lines, microwave ovens, ultraviolet lights or cable TV lines. Do not use near glass, near the ground, or near the water. Use of this equipment may cause serious malfunction of automotive vehicles, cell phones, human thought processes, and certain other important and necessary items. This device may cause dismissal from school, the job, or cushy government appointments. Occasionally causes rioting in the streets.

Continued use of the Pazzoom Radio Hat in the United States may lead to automatic enlistment in the Democratic Party. May also lead to dermatitis and other kinds of skin infections. When un-packaging, be sure to destroy all paperwork that might identify you as the owner of this device. Oh, and one last thing: Do not use this device on sunny days or at night.

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